Magic Items Inspired by JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders


Sadly, this is the only time Jotaro ever looks fabulous

Stardust Crusaders is the part of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure that I like the least. I do still like it, to be fair, but the bloated length (nearly twice that of Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency combined, and about 25% longer than either Diamond is Unbreakable or Golden Wind), Mary Sue lead protagonist, and scattered instances of bad writing practices (unjustified Deus Ex Machina, inconsistent stupidity by both protagonists and antagonists, jarring Mood Whiplash when juxtaposing comedic and dramatic moments, etc.) weigh it down too much to match the rest of the series in my eyes. I can understand that Araki tried to change things up a lot from the previous two parts and so much of Stardust Crusaders was a learning experience to help him refine his approach (and the second half is generally a marked improvement over the first, so he learned rather quickly), but understanding why it was not as good does not eliminate those weak points.


That all said, these posts are not meant to be thorough critiques of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. The length made it a little challenging to come up with a list of 20 interesting items because there were so many that I wanted to list, but I suppose the extras (including one for the iconic road roller moment) will have their time to shine in the final compilation PDF.


Without any further ado, here are 20 magic items inspired by Stardust Crusaders:


1: Headband of the Guardian Star

This headband grants its wearer an uncontrollable guardian spirit with twice the wearer's physical attributes. Once per hour, the spirit can stop time for 1 round and do something to either protect or aid the wearer. The spirit has only basic animal intelligence and cannot be taught abstract concepts like laws or social customs. Interacting with the spirit by mundane means is impossible; for magical interactions, treat it as a formless invisible summoned genie.


2: Scrying Bucket

This paint bucket makes an image of the current location for any specifically-identified individual (who does not need to have been known or seen by the user) when splashed onto a blank canvas but requires very expensive paint to refill it after each use.


3: Cursed Coffee Pot

This coffee pot brews coffee with the same bitter taste, no matter the ingredients or technique used. The curse can be broken with a 50-day pilgrimage across the world, stopping no longer than 1 day in any single location.


4: Corset of Extrusion

This corset allows its wearer to spaghettify safely. The wearer can reach a minimum diameter of 1" (total volume is unchanged). Only the wearer's body and the corset are affected; other possessions are dropped on the spot.


5: Sinister Spoon

This spoon radiates a fear effect within 30' if left on the ground, causing anyone affected to see it as a loved one lying unconscious (save negates).


6: Witch-Hunter's Cigar

This rolled-weed cigar produces aromatic blue smoke when used. A vein protrudes on the tip of the nose of any spellcaster who smells the smoke, which takes 30 minutes to recede.


7: Avenging Doll

This doll pledges to seek vengeance on its owner's behalf. When the owner is injured, they can trigger the vengeance curse to animate the doll, which acts as an intelligent revenant targeting whoever caused the injury. Each time the owner triggers the curse and it is fulfilled, a more severe injury is required to trigger the curse in the future.


8: Pipe of Companions

This pipe deepens devotion towards the smoker, allowing the smoker to improve the reaction of an NPC they are speaking to by one category (friendly reactions become admiring). If multiple influenced NPCs meet, they will feel strong animosity and jealousy towards each other for no discernible reason.


9: Empathy Cat

This white cat shows its owner visions of their relatives and allows them to experience what their relatives feel.


10: Sovereign Scissors

These bronze spring scissors produce a 30'x30'x30' cloud of moderate fog. Anything killed by the scissors can be manipulated by the fog like a clumsy marionette, with the fog manifesting semi-solid hands tied to strings of mist from the corpse's wounds.


11: Brooches of Hostile Sympathy

This paired set of burnished steel annular and penannular brooches links the wearers over any distance, provided the penannular brooch-wearer has no more than half the annular brooch-wearer's level/HD (minimum 1). When the annular brooch-wearer is injured (even superficial injuries, such as the wearer cracking their knuckles), the injury is inflicted at doubled severity on the penannular brooch-wearer. Only the annular brooch-wearer can remove the penannular brooch.


12: Lamp of Lies

This lamp can be rubbed to summon a facsimile of any one object or creature up to the size of a person. Objects turn into worthless dirt after 24 hours. Creatures turn into a ghoul made of clay and earthen matter after 1 turn, which disperses after 8 hours. The lamp works only three times per user.


13: Headdress of Fickle Falsehoods

This feathered headdress allows the wearer to make up to three concurrent constructs out of sand, up to the size of an ogre. The wearer can control their coloration and surface texture, but the constructs put up no resistance to substantial impact and fall apart if they are more than 30' from the wearer.


14: Mercenary's Canteen

This canteen can animate the water within it as a vicious elemental, preferring the form of a clawed hand. The elemental can hunt any targets known to the user in a 2.5 mile radius, seeking to decapitate them and pull their heads to the canteen. Under typical circumstances, it has twice the damage and HD of an ogre and twice the speed of a person; in conditions with plentiful water (at sea, during a heavy storm, etc.), the factors increase to triple. Its transparent fluid body grants it AC as a ghost. Damage inflicted on the elemental is also inflicted on the user.


15: Indomitable Blade of Immortality

This sword protects its wielder, preventing them from being slain by any attack or magic that has slain one of its previous wielders. It seeks to face those who have defeated its wielders in the past, either to prove it has overcome them or to be taken by a stronger warrior.


16: Sapphire of Attraction

This large blue sapphire gives a minor static shock to anyone who touches it, placing a curse of magnetism on them. After 1 hour, the victim develops a magnetic field with 1 lbs of force and 1' effective range. Both the force and range double every hour until the victim dies. The curse can be broken by using an attracted object to crack the sapphire, which will also suppress its magic until it mends itself after 1 week.


17: Youthful Shadow

This humanoid shadow can be attached to replace the user's normal shadow. Anyone else who touches it directly becomes younger, reverting by 10 years per contact (attack roll required for targets who notice and try to avoid it). The shadow exists independent of any light sources and can stretch up to 10' long x 5' wide. The effect is negated if the user is slain or knocked unconscious or if they choose to dispel it. The shadow has no effect on objects or ageless beings.


18: Gambler's Deck

This card deck binds any who gamble with it to bet souls, which can each be divided into eight parts. The players' own souls must be bet before they can use any others. Anyone ending the game with an incomplete soul is effectively dead until it is restored.


19: Spyglass of Interrogation

This red-lensed spyglass can see into the heart of whoever it is focused on, allowing the user to know the true answer to any yes/no question that they speak loudly enough for the target to hear (questions which the target cannot answer as "yes" or "no" receive silence).


20: Supreme Survivor's Whip

This knotted whip grants its wielder a significant bonus to any rolls to escape from combat or to execute a desperate plan against a superior foe.

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