Tropin' d20 - Painful Body Waxing

March 14, 2020

No special preamble today.  Let's jump right in to hitting that "random trope" button on TVTropes and coming up with six ideas inspired by it.

Random Trope Result:
Painful Body Waxing

Well, that sure is a trope.  I'm not a big fan of the sort of media where it tends to be used, and I usually roll my eyes when it comes because I just can't understand people hurting themselves for cosmetic reasons, but hey, pushing myself to work outside of my typical comfort zone is part of the point of these random rolls.  In fact, now that I mention it, a host of masochistic magic items with odd effects inspired by cosmetics and fashion sounds cool.  I'll deviate from my usual presentation by skipping my thoughts on incorporating these into actual play (as I think that side of things ought to be obvious), so with no further ado, let me see what I can do with it.

1. Wax of Sleekness

"A pair of ceramic jars sealed with wedge-shaped stoppers.  One is warm to the touch and contains a blob of viscous molten amber wax, while the other is cold and empty.  If poured out, the wax spreads out all around whatever it was poured onto.  Its heat and uncaring pulling deals significant damage (save halves, treat as normal fire for item saving throws) and screams of pain as the subject is stripped of all surface contaminants, including hair.  The process takes ten minutes, after which the wax retreats into the previously-cold jar (if the jar's stopper is not removed, the wax remains on the subject and causes moderate damage every round) and becomes an inert solid, with a 1-in-6 chance each hour of returning to its hot fluid state.  Persons cleaned by the wax swim at double speed and have significant bonuses to showing off their body and to evading/escaping grapples."

2. Reconstructive Clay

"A lumpy mound of reddish brown clay, its shapeless surfaces seeming vaguely evocative of a mishmash of anatomical features.  If placed on the skin of a living thing (in part or whole), it absorbs into the flesh, forming a soft tumorous mass that can be reshaped until it sets firmly after one hour.  The clay's enchantment will guide the worker's touch to create the most beautiful rendition of whatever they imagine as they shape it.  The affected area is immovable once the clay has set.  If removed by surgery or other violence, half of the clay will return to its soft, workable state after one day."

3. Sanguine Pigments

"A row of six individual compartments full of powder, half white and half black.  One color will draw the wearer's blood to the surface, giving them a healthy glow.  The other color will force the wearer's blood away from the surface, giving them an alluring pallor irresistible to undead.  Either application deals minor damage every hour and requires a saving throw every hour to endure the cardiological stress (failures may cause lightheadedness, unconsciousness, or death, depending on the degree of application).  The powder's effects can be ended by bathing in ashes and dust or by removal of the affected area.  If both colors are applied to the same area, treat as mixing potions."

4. Commanding Corset

"A hollow cylinder of dark leather stretched over a short spinal column and arching ribs, with an open space where the sternum would be.  If worn, it squeezes around the wearer's waist, reducing girth by 50%, increasing height by 25%, and granting a slight bonus to acts of authority or leadership.  The wearer is unable to consume more than superficial amounts of food/drink and suffers a moderate penalty to significant acts of physical exertion.  The corset can only be removed by the touch of a trusted lover or servant."

5. Living Hair

"A luscious wig of suave styling.  The wearer's thoughts may alter its color and/or length or may command it to billow dramatically, and the wearer receives a significant bonus to acts of persuasion and/or seduction.  However, each use of the wig's magic requires soaking it in fresh blood for one hour (cumulative) within a day.  Failure to do this causes the wig to attempt to take control of the wearer each morning (treat as possession by a magic item) until it fulfills its desire.  The wig has a perfect memory of its entire existence and may be spoken with while it is in control of its wearer.  If worn for half a day without interruption, the wig fuses with the wearer's scalp, which counts as a use of its magic."

6. Honey Trap

"A small jar containing 1d4 dollops of honey and a silver spoon.  If consumed using the spoon, roll 1d6:

  • 1: The eater receives a significant bonus to speaking persuasively or seductively for the next day.

  • 2: The eater's words act as a charm spell for the next hour.

  • 3: The eater's next spoken promise is believed.

  • 4: The eater's teeth rot and fall out immediately.

  • 5: The eater is wracked with muscle tremors for the next hour, imposing a moderate penalty to all acts.

  • 6: The eater projects a repellent air of entitlement for the next day, suffering a significant penalty to any interactions.

After consuming the honey, the eater must make a saving throw or be unable to resist any future opportunities to consume sweets."

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